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Initiating sex with grace and sensuality is hard, and society has decided that the onus is mostly on you guys to start up sexy times, which I do feel sorry about, but, 96 percent of Fortune 500 companies are run by men and women are still walking to our cars with our keys in our fists like Wolverine claws, so I’m not going to wallow for too long.

To help you guys out, I talked to people who sleep with men to find out what they like most when it comes to initiating sex.

The best way to ensure both parties are comfortable with any sexual activity is to talk about it.When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication. Giving consent for one activity, one time, does not mean giving consent for increased or recurring sexual contact.For example, agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t give that person permission to remove your clothes.But I think the best times are when I’m getting dressed or just finished my makeup and he comes and started kissing me or hugs me from behind because then I feel like I look so good that he couldn’t help himself! So put some time into getting it right with your partner. The laws about consent vary by state and situation.

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