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Harris articulates his theory of dating and courtship in three resources: the initial article for , “Dating Problems, Courtship Solutions,” “I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance,” and the sequel, “Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship.” Harris insists his books are not a formula for the perfect relationship, but this claim amounts to empty hedging against the charge of legalism.Harris’s writings provides a robust framework for why dating is the problem and courtship the solution.Church and family are the “real life settings” where “we’re much more likely to see who a person really is.” “Though courtship has a serious intent,” Harris writes in “Boy Meets Girl,” “it can be low-pressure and casual when it begins.” (This characterization is unpersuasive considering how involved families and the church community are in the courtship process.) Fathers in particular have a deep role in courtship in Harris’s framework. When a man wants to pursue a woman in courtship, he should first ask her father for permission to court.Indeed, the woman may be the last person to know of a man’s interest.By seeking her father’s permission to court, a man honors his role and elicits his wisdom.

Moreover, dating isolates the couple from life’s most important relationships: family, friends, and church.

Harris’s influence expanded thanks to that book, his first.

He spoke at conferences, gave radio and television interviews, and proselytized about the problems of dating and the benefits of courtship, cementing his reputation as a relationships expert A lot has changed since his meteoric rise.

It would be easy to dismiss Harris’s fretting as merely advice that preteens, teenagers, or immature people should avoid dating until they mature.

But his writings do not support this interpretation.

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