Though ignoring them might seem like the easiest way out, we often have to speak to the people who we most want to avoid.
Whatever your situation, you can learn to speak with confidence by boosting your self esteem, being assertive, and overcoming your feelings of intimidation.
As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.
The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.
Look at the other person as someone to figure out and understand rather than someone to challenge. This is a generalisation but I have come across many clients who seem intensely gruff on the outside but once you get to know them, you realise it’s all a ‘front’.
Believe it or not, we all feel like children inside, no matter what age we are.The more emotional intelligence one has the easier it is to deal with intimidation from others.As a general rule, I have often found that the people I encounter who are aggressive, judgemental, miserable, rude or just plain horrid usually have a reason for being the way they are.In order to appeal the child in another adult, it is important to act like an adult dealing with a difficult child. When you approach them with curiosity it takes them by surprise and they often begin to unravel when they are asked to explain themselves in more detail.Stick to the facts and take the dignified path always. Never be confrontational or belittling with intimidating people. Ironically, many intimidating people have learned this behaviour due to feeling powerless and unheard as children.