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The takeaway message Most adults find that they become more secure and they stop worrying about what others think as they get older.

Everyone’s television godmother, Oprah Winfrey, has talked about how she reached a point of self-acceptance when she turned 50.

If someone wants to be with me, they should accept the whole package, because that is who I am.

I don’t need to apologize for who I am or try to be someone else.

With friends, you don’t fear judgment or a breakup like you may when you are in a romantic relationship.

For example, think of the proverbial guy people refer to as a “player.” With his date, he will try very hard to seem kind and honest, emotionally available and committed to you.Why would someone act differently with their friends than with the person they’re dating? The first reason relates to anxiety, insecurity, or trying to impress you.These men and women have a deeply rooted fear or insecurity that you may not like them as they are.This fear — which takes the form of jealousy or clinginess — is generally a reflexive response to emotional trauma in past relationships, including with parents, siblings, and former lovers.Old wounds prevent one from feeling secure in the present, in spite of contrary evidence.

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