Dating an ad man

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I was the only white straight Jew in the room and I’d sit in the back cowering, scratching at my stitches. “This is a women’s meeting,” one of the tautly pulled housewives said.“I am a woman,” the man—who, as it turned out, was a woman—said. I had never been attracted to a woman before but she wasn’t just a woman: she was, when I got to know her, this amazing combination of the best traits of a female best friend with all the machismo and chivalry of a man.

She was what I called “guy light.” “It would be better,” I told her one night, “if you had a penis.I even wondered with some concern whether I weighed more than he did, again, not because I felt like I needed to lose weight, but because I had absorbed the cultural script that says that women should be daintier than guys.But it’s not the Upper Paleolithic, and I don’t need anyone to defend me from a saber-toothed cat; it’s 2016, and we know that femininity is a social construct.I think I hooked up with five different people within my first four months, and that’s not counting the occasional rendezvous with an old using buddy. Romance took me out of the rooms more times than I’d like to admit. I think dating in the rooms of AA is not unlike hooking up in prison.There is a limited supply of broken people and we recycle each other.

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    Yet I didn’t feel relief when we finally moved into a studio. “My granddad wanted to become a sign painter and designer, but was stopped; my dad would have had a real talent for language, but was stopped.